The Old Sportswriter’s Take on the Rose Bowl – Michigan vs Alabama

There are some sharp minds writing articles for college football these days, but sometimes it’s good to take an old guy’s perspective into account because we’ve not only learned history and trends but seen them with our own eyes. That said, here’s one of the oldest sportswriter’s take on the upcoming Rose Bowl where Michigan takes on Alabama.

These are not historians or old men playing this game, they were born on average, 20 years ago or so, therefore history to them is limited to what they’ve seen with their own eyes or things that have happened in their lifetime, so let’s start there.

In these player’s lifetime, Michigan and Alabama have only played twice, both with disastrous losses to Michigan. The first was the 2012 game in Arlington, Texas where Alabama absolutely stomped them into the ground with the final score 41-14 Alabama. I remember that game and it could have been worse. Michigan looked like a high school team playing a college team.

The second game was just a few seasons ago in 2020 where the Tide once again spanked the Wolverines by a score of 35-16. Once again, Bama played the entire bench and let the majority of the team enjoy playing in a bowl game or it could have been worse.

The other thing that these players remember from their lifetime of the last 20 years or so is Alabama’s dominance over other teams from the Big Ten in general. Perception does stick in the minds of young men, and the lifetime perception of Alabama most always makes teams from their conference, the Big 10, their bitches in blowout losses. Only once in their lifetime did a Big Ten team beat Bama in a big bowl or title game and it wasn’t their team that did it.

I remember when Michigan State had a great year and many thought they would have a chance to upset the Tide. Kirk Cousins was at the top of his game, and the hopes of the Big Ten were with Michigan State. Alabama was going to finally be taught a lesson. Cousins couldn’t finish the first half, he was beaten in the dirt time and time again, then Bama beat down the second-string quarterback and they ended up playing a receiver at quarterback to finish the game. I was in the press box that day and after the game when we interviewed Kirk Cousins, he hardly could answer questions. It was a pitiful 49-7 thrashing in the 2011 Capital One Bowl at the Florida Citrus Bowl Stadium in Orlando, Fla.

Say what you will, but these things are in the back of their minds going into this game whether they’d ever admit it or not. In their lifetimes, Bama just doesn’t beat Big Ten teams, they beat the hell out of them. I forget the coach who once was quoted as saying, “Those Crimson jerseys are worth 14 points when they just walk out on the field. Whether you admit it or not, that’s how intimidating they are.”

I saw the looks on the faces of Michigan’s players when the announcement came from the playoff committee that Alabama got into the playoffs and would be playing Michigan. There was an audible and collective groan and a lot of “Oh shit!” looks on lots of faces of the Michigan players. Many on television and in print say the same thing, so it’s not my opinion alone.

So while the actual stats are not the tell-all many think, the stats were mostly from each of their own conferences, and most would agree that top to bottom, the SEC is a tougher conference. But then, that is a debatable issue.

What is not debatable, is history. One team has a history of stepping up and shining bright in big games and post-season play and one does not. The question is, how much weight does that history put on the backs of the players of each team? I’m saying it places some on both teams.

Michigan feels it has a stronger run defense than Alabama and can force Alabama to be more one-dimensional. However, teams that have tried to force Jalen Milroe to beat them with his arm have been beaten by his arm. Milroe has evolved into one of the best deep-threat passers in college football.

Statistically, Michigan has a pass defense that is also better rated than Alabama’s. Michigan feels confident that they can hold Alabama’s offensive output and scores to levels that can be surpassed by their own offense. However, Alabama may be one of the hardest teams to try and make one-dimensional.

Further, Michigan sees itself as a much more disciplined team, they commit less than 3 penalties per game while Alabama is guilty of twice that number. In this, they are of course correct. As for other perceived advantages over Alabama, that’s all they are, perceived advantages.

Stats don’t tell the true story of anything unless you take into account against whom those stats were accumulated. As far as the strength of the schedule goes, according to sportsbettingdime.com, as of the latest games played, Alabama had the 3rd hardest schedule in football. Michigan’s schedule only rates as the 47th toughest. So factoring that into the equation of Michigan’s perceived advantages, one can only surmise that good statistics are easy to be skewed when you play poorer competition.

No sports ranking service such as ESPN, CBS Sports, or anyone have the Big Ten as a conference ranked above the SEC in any power ranking category. The Big Ten is top-heavy with Michigan, Ohio State and Penn State doing well with the rest of the conference really lacking. In contrast, Kentucky, the SEC’s number 8 team in power rankings defeated the ACC’s championship game contender Louisville.

Therefore, except for committing fewer penalties, no clear advantage for Michigan can be found. It also shows that, just like Georgia, who also had a worse strength of schedule, Michigan’s team has not been forged in the same fire as Alabama and will wilt as the game progresses.

Lastly, as the game progresses no coach has shown the ability to make adjustments on the fly and adapt his team to overcome like Nick Saban. That’s why Alabama time and time again has shown the ability to come back from being down and pull away from teams who were either ahead or keeping it close early in the game.

Offense, defense, special teams, coaching, and depth of squad all favor Alabama. History, momentum, and confidence all favor Alabama. Though I rarely predict an exact score, I am very good at it when I do. So for the sake of a new year’s present, this old man who has been there and seen a lot in all these years sees a game where either Alabama has a 31-20 victory over Michigan or a score as high as a 34 -17 beatdown.

Larry Burton is a semi-retired writer who has written for over 25 years and has been published in almost every leading media.

Florida State – Quit Complaining Before You Look Too Stupid

I knew I’d hear it, by the droves, Florida State fans complaining that Alabama got “Their Spot” in the playoffs.

Not only do they not understand the committee was not supposed to give spots according to records, but for the best teams available to play for a championship and Seminoles, that ain’t you by a longshot.

But keep up jawing, whining, and complaining, and then explain how another team that didn’t make the playoffs and was beaten by the team you claimed took your spot, beats you by 28 or more. How will your argument look then?

It’s perfectly alright to be indignant about what happened, but so many of you look utterly, ridiculously stupid in thinking you were one of the four best teams in the country. And after the Georgia game, you’ll look even dumber for making that argument.

If this article insults you, I’m sorry, but many of you need a strong dose of reality here. You won the conference title of the weakest major conference and looked bad in doing it. That is reality, not opinion. Without your star quarterback, you didn’t have a prayer in hell of hanging with the big boys, with him, you could have made it interesting.

Take your number five ranking and wear it with pride, while you can. Because soon, the team ranked #6 is going to manhandle you in such a fashion that everyone will see just how inflated you were to be considered the fifth-best team. We still remember when the committee let in a weak TCU team who didn’t deserve the nod and was beaten down by the same Georgia Bulldogs you’re going to have to prove yourself against by a score of 65-7.

The truth is, Alabama or Georgia could play you 10 times each in Tallahassee and win all 20 games easily. Everybody with common sense knows that, everyone on the committee knows that. You don’t even have a puncher’s prayer. So take your indignity like a man, be proud of what you did accomplish because it truly was a lot, and be proud of that. All this whining and stupid talk doesn’t become you or what your team did accomplish. You’re on the road back, take this a step forward.

SEC prejudice, television revenue, or anything else didn’t cost you a spot. You simply weren’t one of the best four teams and after the Georgia game, even your most fervent fan will realize that. Show some class and stop the whining now.

Larry Burton is a semi-retired writer who has written for over 20 years and has been published in almost every leading media.

All fans need to take a deep breath

I don’t usually write much anymore and when I do, they’re personal more so than reporting. There are enough folks out there reporting what happened, you don’t need to have me do a re-take on things for you.

So what this is about is for the fans to take a break and a deep breath before posting whiney comments about referees. I’ve played football, coached football, and reffed games and I can tell you from first-hand experience that 99,9% of the refs that call a game are doing their best. There is no game you could watch and not find something to complain about with a call or the lack of one. Not one, zilch. So take a breath and know that while no one is perfect they are trying to do their best and they usually even out over a game.

Coach Paul “Bear” Bryant once said that sometimes a bad call goes against you and some go for you, but it comes down to that one thing, then you probably didn’t deserve to win the game anyway.

Take Alabama’s last game against Auburn. Auburn folks were whining, “Look, he pushed off!” When Isiah Bond caught the game-winning catch, and if you look at that final moment, that may be true. But if you look at play just seconds before, he was clearly being held and a stretched jersey is clearly visible. Yet that was not called either. It sort of evened out.

Also on that play, there was a stupid fan who showed a replay of one of the two rushers and he said, “Look he’s being held, he’s still being held, he’s still being held. and the truth is this is just a stupid fan. It’s legal for a lineman to have his hands on a rusher’s shoulder pads to push him, that’s not holding to a dumb fan, it looks like it. Even the lineman in question of being held said there was no holding on that play, they didn’t need to, they had two men blocking him. But it still riled up a desperate and butt-hurt fan base who were also too stupid to know the proper blocking rules.

Bama fans, you are just as bad trying to counter one perceived bad call with another of your choice. No fan base has a monopoly on whining fans.

Now, moving on from bad calls to decisions made by the College Football Playoff Committee. Again, I don’t think there’s an agenda one way or the other. They have said their goal is not to pick the teams that deserved it, but simply the four best teams out there right now.

If I were an undefeated Florida State, I’d be devastated to be left out and replaced by a one-loss team. Same for any undefeated team. They made their case the best way they could, by winning them all!

Should Alabama be left out, yes, I’d hurt along with the rest of the fan base but I might understand, they didn’t take care of their business all season long. There’s a side to all arguments. There may not be a team that Las Vegas would favor to win the Championship over Alabama right now. But Las Vegas doesn’t get a vote. I’d have to take my own advice and take a deep breath.

Larry Burton is a semi-retired writer who has written for over 20 years and has been published in almost every leading media.

Larry’s Losers in the SEC – SEC Championship Game

Well folks, here we are with the two teams we always thought we’d have in this matchup, but there were some bumps and bruises along the way. Both teams have looked like world-beaters at times and also looked like a team that struggled against lesser opponents.

So here we are and may the best team win. Alabama is an amazing 15-1 in games the domes in Atlanta, and he’s 4-1 against Kirby’s Canines. But let me tell you folks, records don’t mean squat in a contest like this, because these groups of gladiators have never met before.

Now, with all that said, let’s get to the picking part of this party.

Georgia vs Alabama – Mercedes Benz Stadium – Atlanta, Georgia – Dec. 2nd, 2023 -Home Team- Alabama

Kirby’s Canines caravan up to Hotlanta to try and put their stamp on another SEC Championship and move on to yet another National College Football Playoff. But this ain’t no home game for the Dogs, Alabama not only owns the city of Atlanta, but with Nick Saban’s Mercedes connections, they’re playing in his house. So the Pachyderms arrive prideful and puffed up and think they’ve got this one too.

This is going to be one of the best if not THE best conference championship game. It’s a shame that one of these teams will be knocked out of the playoffs in all likelyhoood. A game like this comes down to the quarterback, and neither has ever been in a game this big as the boss. Both are winners, but one is more two demensional. Running quarterbacks has always given Smart a problem.

I see this as close as the boys from Lost Wages see it. So what is my main decider in this duel? Alabama’s team has been forged by fire with the nation’s third toughest schedule while Geogia’s was the 43 toughest. Plus, they’ve got the biggest chip on their shoulder, so even though it ain’t without a pound of worry, Larry’s Loser – Georgia

(with thanks to Davis Jaye and the squirrelsnestcartoons.com for using part of an oldie but goodie)

Well folks the only thing left is bowl season and we may break that into two segments, the early ones and the late ones. Till then enjoy the prize that is yours for your pleasure. This is gonna be a game worth watching, worth saving and worth salavating over.

So till bowl season, get out the tree, put on the ornaments and lets get ready for a holiday of fantastic football. This pick comes to you the beautiful Enchanged Princess somewhere in the Atlantic.

Larry has been writing for over 25 years and his sports articles have been published in most all the leading sites. He was Bleacher Report’s number-one college football writer and was the senior writer for Touchdown Alabama.

THIS ARTICLE IS INTENTIONALLY WRITTEN IN A COLLOQUIAL AND IRREVERENT STYLE FOR THIS SERIES OF ARTICLES. LARRY’S VIEWS AND SENSE OF HUMOR MAY OFFEND, BUT HE AIMS TO OFFEND EVERYONE EQUALLY. IF HE HASN’T INSULTED YOUR FAVORITE TEAM WITH LARRY’S LOSERS, JUST WAIT. FOLLOW LARRY ON TWITTER FOR INSIDE THOUGHTS AND FUNNY GAME-TIME COMMENTS AT   HTTPS://TWITTER.COM/LBSPORTSWRITER , AND FEEL FREE TO POST THIS ON YOUR OWN FACEBOOK PAGE TO SHARE WITH FRIENDS.

Larry’s Losers in the SEC – Week 13- 2023 – Rivalry Week

Wow sports fans! Last week had a few great games one shocker that not even Auburn’s biggest foes saw coming. Yes, no one in the media predicted the depths to which Auburn could suck, but we now know that on any given day they can suck a battleship through a milkshake straw. Except for that miss, we got them all right and even predicted the close upset by South Carolina over Kentucky. But this week, it’s rivalry week, and anything, well almost, can always happen.

So with the end of the regular season upon us, here’s our last full week of SEC’s losers for you laugh over. Can we end on the high note we’ve had most of the year? Read ’em and see.

Ole Miss at Mississippi State – The Lane train pulls into Starkvegas with eyes on an 11-win season and a premier bowl to party in, while the Dogs simply hoping for yet another upset in this since they’ve won three out of the last five.

But these aren’t Mike Leach’s Mutts anymore, in fact, we don’t know who’ll manage these Mutts next year, so we aren’t looking for a “win one for the Gipper” moment in this one. Not even the chance to make a bowl game with a win will give them the bite on these Rebels.

So we’ll list up Mississippi State on the loser’s list and pray for a great new coach and new beginning next season. This Egg Bowl won’t be scrambled.

Missouri at Arkansas – Well once again, “The Battle Line” is being fought and this year the Midwest Meeyowers mosey up to fight it in Fayetteville. These cool Cats have been the surprise team in the SEC this season and coach Drinkwitz deserves a drink in his honor for a quick turnaround for these tabbies.

On the other side of the line are the poor little Piggies who showed promise at times but just couldn’t keep enough foes from huffing and puffing and blowing them and their house down. And we don’t see any indication that they’ve come up with a solution to stop that in this game either.

So with a great ten-win season and a really nice bowl looking them in the face, these Tigers send the Pigs to the BBQ pits and will make Larry’s loser – Arkansas

Alabama vs Auburn – The prancing Pachyderms parade into the plains to pummel these Pussycats and send the home crowd home with their toilet paper once again. Last week they did get to use some of it after cleaning out the inside of their undies after crapping their pants against a non-division five school and paying them 1.85 million dollars to do it to them.

So to think they have a chance to beat Bama is a stretch that we just can’t make, and though they’ll throw everything and the kitchen sink into this game, they’ll still come up short and the Barners will limp into the Birmingham Bowl or some other bottom bowl .

There’ll be no prayer in Jordan Haire this week, at least not one made by the Worn Eagles that’ll be answered, so Larry’s loser is Auburn. This Iron Bowl is Bama’s.

Kentucky vs Louisville – The “Governor’s Cup” is up for grabs in the Bluegrass State this weekend when the Kitties from Kentucky come a calling in Louisville’s Bird house. Now you’d think that a fight between a cat and a bird would be one-sided, but you don’t know the whole story.

Last week these Kitties got pecked on by a Chickens and wound up on not on the winning side and though these little Birdies might be a might smaller than a Chicken, they’ve got sharp little beaks and know how to swarm.

So we’re going with the home team to bring the Cup to the coop and that’ll make Larry’s loser – Kentucky

Texas A&M at LSU – The aimless Aggies are going bowling without a full-time boss, but they’ve still got things they want to prove, so when they bus down to the Bayou to take on the Bengals, they’ll want to go out with a bang.

But the fact is LSU’s got a tricky Tiger at quarterback and they’re just a better bunch of ballers than those dirt Farmers from Texas. So we expect to see the Tigers send what’s left of the Aggies back to Texas with a lesson not to try to grab this Tiger by the tail.

And this outcome will put Texas A&M on Larry’s list of losers this week and we hope they get a new coach and a new identity soon.

Vanderbilt at Tennessee – Things just ain’t gone the way they thought they would for both of these teams from Hill Country. So when the sad sack Sailors from Song City go over Hardknocksville to vie with the Vols, one team will go out on a high note and one will go down with the ship yet again.

Eight wins gets the Vols to a decent bowl and two wins send you home for the holidays and that’s just the sad state of affairs in this game. We’d like to say that since Vandy’s won four of the last eight that they have a chance, and they do. I give them a one percent chance of winning.

So with this game in the unwatchable / who cares corner, let’s just put Vandy on the loser’s list and go on to more exciting contests.

Florida at Florida State – The Gators head up the freeway to tangle with those Tallahassians in War Paint and they better know now than later, that these Seminoles have been knowing how to deal with a Gator for generations.

Florida needs a hope and prayer win over their robust rivals to make it to a bowl game, and the Seminoles ain’t bringing no peace pipes for this party, as they need this win to get in the College Football Playoffs, cuz a loss to a bunch of gang green Gators won’t get them there.

So let’s put Florida out of their misery, put ’em on the loser’s list and let ’em enjoy the holidays at home, and give the Noles the Florida cup. Larry’s loser – Florida

Georgia at Georgia Tech – The “Clean, Old Fashioned Hate” game is in Hotlanta where the Dogs will play their last two games before any playoff games take place. The hosts, the Rambin’ Wreck, has lived up to their name and limp into bowl season with just six wins.

Now I’d like to tell you that this might be an entertaining game, but coach Kirby will more than likely be watching Alabama film during the game. Georgia Tech has the same chance of winning as me shooting the moon with my trusty .22.

So let’s just write down Georgia Tech in the loser’s list, wish them well in bowl season and go on to game with a little more anticipation.

Clemson at South Carolina – The Palmetto Bowl takes place in the biggest congregation of Cluckers this side of the KFC distribution center, and that is a mighty advantage to the Carolina Cluckers. Folks forget that Clemson’s been a big dog for a while, but the Gamecocks have won 6 out of the last 13 games, so they know how to pull off an upset like they did last season.

I think this could be the game of the night. Last week I said I’d pick the Cluckers to upset Kentucky and set up a wild game with Clemson that could get them in a bowl game and all that panned out. I want so bad for the Cluckers to pull this off and they might as this is a game that will ride entirely on big MO. Momentum will win the day and whoever has it in a close game will win.

I want to pick this pack of Peckers for another upset party so bad and I can sure see it happening, but Dabo’s just got a lot more talent on the other side of the field so my head not my heart is putting South Carolina on the loser’s list.

Well folks, that’s it from this season. This pack of picks comes to you from Princess’s Enchanted Princess cruise ship as she sails us around some islands off Europe’s coast and then home to Florida. It’s been a grueling 2 months of travel that has covered Greece, Turkey and everything in Italy and more, during football season, but the picks have exceeded anyone else’s who posts them publicly, so maybe my mind didn’t wander too far from football during all this, but I’ve made my poor wife happy who suffered so much during football seasons in the past.

We’ll be back next week with the SEC Championship predictions and then down the road with the College Football Playoff picks. Thank you for letting me share one more football season with you all. At 66, my writing days may be numbered, but I have a lifetime of memories and a ton of friends from all this and I thank you one and all.

Larry has been writing for over 25 years and his sports articles have been published in most all the leading sites. He was Bleacher Report’s number-one college football writer and was the senior writer for Touchdown Alabama.

THIS ARTICLE IS INTENTIONALLY WRITTEN IN A COLLOQUIAL AND IRREVERENT STYLE FOR THIS SERIES OF ARTICLES. LARRY’S VIEWS AND SENSE OF HUMOR MAY OFFEND, BUT HE AIMS TO OFFEND EVERYONE EQUALLY. IF HE HASN’T INSULTED YOUR FAVORITE TEAM WITH LARRY’S LOSERS, JUST WAIT. FOLLOW LARRY ON TWITTER FOR INSIDE THOUGHTS AND FUNNY GAME-TIME COMMENTS AT   HTTPS://TWITTER.COM/LBSPORTSWRITER , AND FEEL FREE TO POST THIS ON YOUR OWN FACEBOOK PAGE TO SHARE WITH FRIENDS.

Larry’s Losers in the SEC-Week-12-2023

What an exciting bunch of games last week, and while I could hear the upset bugs a buzzin’, I put the wrong teams with those blame bugs. I just felt Georgia was due for an upset but Ole Miss ain’t the bunch to do it and hats to Auburn for surprising everyone in the football world but those players’ mamas, by not just beating the Hogs, but staging a full-scale slaughter!

I hope you enjoyed all the excitement last week, ‘cuz there’s a lot of cupcakes on the shelf for this week, but just barely enough good games to make the weekend wonderful. So with all that being said, let’s go ahead and start listing those losers. I call this week’s Cartoons, “What the coaches would really like to say publicly”.

Chattanooga vs Alabama – The Mocs won’t wear out those new shoes they’ll pay for with the big check from Bama for the beatdown. No they’ll bus on down to T-Town for a colossal clobbering they won’t soon forget.

This is the game where Saban rests the weary, plays the whole bench, and maybe some of the brass section from the Million Dollar Band.

So no need to dilly dally with a cutesy explanation here, just put Chattanooga on the loser’s list and send ’em back up I-59 all battered and bruised.

UL Monroe at Ole Miss – The worn out Warhawks flap what feathers they have left to come to Oxford for a big paycheck and another plucking and this is already a team that’s all plucked up.

The only suspense in this one is will be in Kiffin plays every one of his Commandos including the backup water boy.

So skip this one, put UL Monroe on the losers list and let’s just move along with a yawn.

Southern Miss at Mississippi State – When the Golden Eagle fly over to Starkvegas for beatdown and bank draft, this is going to give the Dog win number five in what looked like a tough season. Boy, that’s gonna make the season-ender that much more important.

Next week it won’t be for just state pride, but a bowl season bid, so expect whoever fills Coach Zach’s seat to rest the weary and put in double study time on how to crack a Kiffin while his boys go out there and see if grilled Eagle tastes like chicken.

With little suspense or reason to watch this ‘un, Larry’s loser will be Southern Miss, even in the players are upset about losing their coach.

Abilene Christian at Texas A&M – Well I told you last week that Jimbo’s butt was burning, and even though he won, he lost a job, but gained a fortune. Only in America can you be fired for being bad at your job and still get 75 million bucks for it.

So Jimbo’s office may be cleared out, but all the horses are still in the stable and that means they’re able to take on these Christians, no matter how hard they pray.

So keep the remote handy and click away from this catastrophe. Larry’s loser – Abilene Christian.

Georgia at Tennessee – While the Dogs were chewing the asses of the men from Ole Miss last week, Tennessee was getting clawed to death by the Missouri Tigers, so to say these are two teams who couldn’t be more different last week would be an understatement.

At the first of the season, this was supposed to be the game was to decide the East, but now it’s just a game to see how much heart these Hillbillies still have to at least put up a good fight.

And that might be worth a look, certainly seeing Dolly try to stir the Vols will be, unless it gets ugly in a hurry, but no matter what how it plays out, in the end, it’ll be Tennessee on Larry’s loser’s list.

New Mexico State at Auburn – Now here’s a tale of two farm schools fighting it out on Auburn’s South 40 so it seems like with an eight-win Aggie facing a six-win Tiger that it might not be a cupcake clash, but that’s why you read Larry’s losers.

Auburn would be undefeated playing the Aggie’s paddy cake schedule, so when it comes to two farm schools fighting it out, one’s using heavy machinery while the other is armed with hoes.

So the Aggies take the big payday as Auburn prepares for the Pachyderms next week and that’ll make Larry’s loser, New Mexico.

Florida at Missouri – Florida finds itself in the dry flatlands of the Midwest Meeyowers with nowhere to hide when they come a calling on these Kitties.

The Gators have been severely skinned this season and even playing in something as silly as Birmingham Bowl is beyond their grasp this season. And with the Cats finding the big spark to end their season on a hot streak, this one could get ugly.

So just like in the Tennessee game, this one still might be entertaining to watch just to see if the Gators have any gumption left in their gullets to put up a worthy battle. But we don’t think they will and put Florida on the loser’s list.

Florida International at Arkansas – This pitiful pack of Panthers parade in the Hogpen all happy to be on national television and get such a big paycheck.

But even though these Hogs have no hope of holiday hijinx come bowl season, they do want to go out with a bang and the receiving end of this bang will be these battered Cats from Florida.

While it won’t be worthy of your attention, somehow ESPNU couldn’t find anything they like any better, but either way, Larry’s loser will be FIU. And that still won’t be enough to save this coach’s job.

Kentucky at South Carolina – Oh how good both these teams have looked at times, and boy oh boy how bad they’ve looked at others. Cat’s are going bowling however and the Cluckers are going to have to pull a royal flush to find themselves playing the holidays.

So when the Wildcats make a raid on the Henhouse in Carolina’s Clucker corner, there’s going to be a border war that might be a doozy to watch. And with this being a rare Sunday after-church kinda game, both teams might want to say a prayer before this one.

Now I know the boys in Lost Wages think this is one for the Cats, but I’d love to see the home team shine pull one out, and then play Clemson for a shot a bowl game. Could this be the day Spenser quits getting Rattled and plays his butt off? We think so. Larry’s loser, Kentucky in my upset special.

Well that’s it for this week folks, this week pack of picks comes to you from Siena, Italy and as unusual for me to say, I’m so sick of Italian food. What I wouldn’t give for a big old stadium dog, or a BBQ sandwich. But no matter how bad my belly longs for home, I’m looking forward to next week, rivalry week, and boy oh boy, will there be some good games there.

With the regular season coming to a close the way we all figured it would, I want to thank each and every one of you who read this every week and post it on your page for your friends to see too. See you next week.

Larry has been writing for over 25 years and his sports articles have been published in most all the leading sites. He was Bleacher Report’s number-one college football writer and was the senior writer for Touchdown Alabama.

THIS ARTICLE IS INTENTIONALLY WRITTEN IN A COLLOQUIAL AND IRREVERENT STYLE FOR THIS SERIES OF ARTICLES. LARRY’S VIEWS AND SENSE OF HUMOR MAY OFFEND, BUT HE AIMS TO OFFEND EVERYONE EQUALLY. IF HE HASN’T INSULTED YOUR FAVORITE TEAM WITH LARRY’S LOSERS, JUST WAIT. FOLLOW LARRY ON TWITTER FOR INSIDE THOUGHTS AND FUNNY GAME-TIME COMMENTS AT   HTTPS://TWITTER.COM/LBSPORTSWRITER , AND FEEL FREE TO POST THIS ON YOUR OWN FACEBOOK PAGE TO SHARE WITH FRIENDS.

Larry’s Losers in the SEC-Week 11-2023

What a week last weekend was for sports fans! I should have listened to my heart and not my head last week and I would have been perfect yet again! If you go back a week and read, I said I flipped a coin 5 times because I was feeling the Hogs to upset the Gators, but I listened to my head repeat all the stats and trends and failed to be perfect again in the process.

And this week, the Hogs have me on the fence again. But the games are getting better and better and each game means so much to so many. As much as I’m enjoying bouncing around Italy, I wish I had my pigskin-picking pooch by my side helping me with these toughies, but the staff manning the fort back at the loser’s lair is helping and we’re still the hottest prognosticator there is. But before I wear a hole in my shirt patting myself on the back, let’s see how this week goes, and we begin.

Alabama at Kentucky – There aren’t many places in the SEC where you can take on a home team and expect an easy Saturday, and when the Pachyderms point the plane to the Bluegrass State, they’d better not be resting on their laurels for beating the Bengals or these Cats will give ’em a scratching they won’t soon forget!

But Nick’s got some tricks up his sleeve and he’s got these Tiders tripping the lights fantastic and with their eyes on a bigger prize so they’re not about to become this week’s big story on the upset page, so we expect them to pull away as usual as the second half goes on.

Despite usually starting as slow as molasses, this game’s finale should still be the same, so we’ll put Kentucky on the loser’s list and move right along.

Vanderbilt at South Carolina – The Song City Sailors sail on over to South Carolina to take on the local Cluckers in their own Henhouse. Now the Swabbies have already come to the conclusion that the only bowl games they’ll make are the ones they buy tickets to.

But a win here would still give Beamer Ball a small chance of still making it to December football, so they’ll give it their all.

Not they’ll have to give them their all, but the Cluckers use the big peckers to knock the noggins of the Commodores until they abandon ship one more time and that’ll make Larry’s loser – Vanderbilt yet one more time.

Tennessee at Missouri – Since joining the SEC, these Midwest Meeyowers have had a lot more success than the vanquished Vols, but this is a chance for somebody the grab the title of second-best in the East and both teams are going to give it their all.

This is one of those where the hot hand rules the day and this one is one of those grey hair-causing games to pick. Now I want to give the home team the nod, but the Vols are just showing me a little more offense and I’m leaning that way.

Now folks have accused me of talking down the Vols, but they’ve just been a dog that’s been kicked around so long, that it’s hard to change you’re mind. But today is their day and Missouri is the team on the loser’s list.

Auburn at Arkansas – This week Tiger tribe from Auburn travel out West to the Hog farm in Fayetteville, and this could be yet another thriller and a killer for each team.

Now folks think I’m too hard on the Worn Eagles and I’m not, it’s just that they suck this season and I call ’em as I see ’em. But the record you say, the Hogs have just won three games! But they are competitive and are a better team than their record and the Tigers are much worse than their record over a slew of cupcakes.

I expect it to be close, but close games are won by the best quarterback and the best quarterback in this contest is wearing red, so let’s write up Auburn on the losers list and hope for the best.

Ole Miss at Georgia – This week Kiffin’s Commandos go over to Athens to see if they can pop the Pooch’s unspoiled season and show that maybe in the SEC, the best is the West.

There’s no real reason to think that these Rebs can win a shootout in Georgia’s own yard, but folks, the hair on my neck has told me all week that the upset bug bites here. You’ve heard the expression about a paper tiger all your life, well folks, I ain’t saying this is a paper Pooch, but they’re just not as good as their ranking.

So I’m going with the hair on my neck and am willing to show that I have hair on my ass and go with the upset in this one and make Georgia, yes Georgia, Larry’s loser.

Florida at LSU – Two tormented teams tangle in Bayou this Saturday. Both lost heartbreaking games last week and only one will be able to lift up their chins after this one.

Both are going to be bowling this holiday season, but this game’s not about status or standing, it’s about pride and LSU at home is a tough act to follow. And though it could be thrilling for a while, the Bayou Boys just have a little more muscle in this tussle.

So that’ll make Larry’s loser Florida and they’ll have to try again for that big win number six, but it’ll come later.

Mississippi State at Texas A&M – Both these teams have been sleepwalking through the season so far, so when the Bulldogs bus over to Texas to take on the Aggies, it’s really a case of who cares?

So for a team that’s sleepwalked through most of the season, a cold glass of water getting thrown in your face may be just what these Aggies need, although Jimbo might prefer it being thrown on his butt as the temperature is rising on his results in College Station so far.

As for the Dogs, it’s not their day, Fisher’s Farmers are just a step above, if not two, so put Mississippi State on the loser’s list and we’ll get started thinking about next week.

Well, that’s all there is for this week folks. We’re sending you these picks from Assissi, Italy as the Mrs. continues planning places for us to peruse. Next week we’ll be in Northern Italy’s wine country so I’ll try and place the picks before I’m plastered.

Till then, call your mama if you can, stock up the snacks, pay the cable bill or show up in person and help your team stay off the losing side.

Larry has been writing for over 25 years and his sports articles have been published in most all the leading sites. He was Bleacher Report’s number-one college football writer and was the senior writer for Touchdown Alabama.

THIS ARTICLE IS INTENTIONALLY WRITTEN IN A COLLOQUIAL AND IRREVERENT STYLE FOR THIS SERIES OF ARTICLES. LARRY’S VIEWS AND SENSE OF HUMOR MAY OFFEND, BUT HE AIMS TO OFFEND EVERYONE EQUALLY. IF HE HASN’T INSULTED YOUR FAVORITE TEAM WITH LARRY’S LOSERS, JUST WAIT. FOLLOW LARRY ON TWITTER FOR INSIDE THOUGHTS AND FUNNY GAME-TIME COMMENTS AT   HTTPS://TWITTER.COM/LBSPORTSWRITER , AND FEEL FREE TO POST THIS ON YOUR OWN FACEBOOK PAGE TO SHARE WITH FRIENDS.

Larry’s Losers in the SEC-Week 10-2023

The regular season end is looming, but my prognostication keeps blooming! Once again last week we were perfect with the picking, making that so many weeks this season I’m losing count. Yes, we saw how they would all play out, but you’re only as good as your last game, and this week could have some pitfalls.

So let’s just get started with the picking and quit wearing out my arm by patting myself on the back. With a better use of energy and a little humbleness, here we go:

Texas A&M at Ole Miss – Folks, this could be the thriller! Both teams are aching to be the next best thing to Bama in the West, and both want to prove they’re better than their recent past seasons have shown. So when these Aggies come aiming to roust the Rebels in front of their home fans, it’s gonna be a war.

We think this could be a game won by who has the ball last or one team jumping on the other so early and often that the game is over by halftime. This is one of those anything can happen games. If Jimbo loses this one they’ll still backslide into bowl season, but his butt will be burning.

The Aggies have a defense that worries my pick, but the Rebs have an opportunistic offense. So what to do? Well, when in doubt and coin flips don’t help go with the home team, so let’s write up Texas A&M on the list of losers and pray our hearts out.

U Conn at Tennessee – Here’s the first of late-season cupcakes to pad the win column and maybe get the Vols to a better bowl game. When the U Conn Huskies haul themselves down to Hardknocksville, it’s strickly for a paycheck and pounding and the Hillbillies will gladly give them both.

There isn’t a prayer in hell that these Huskies are gonna pull off a real game and make this one even remotely entertaining, so I’ll give up the writing that this game doesn’t deserve and just list U Conn as Larry’s Loser and shut up about this one.

Arkansas at Florida – They say something unusual happens when you see a pig fly, but when these Pigs fly South for the Swamp, we think you can expect the same outcome as usual. Yes, these aren’t the fine Swine of days gone past and they’ve fallen on hard times as of late, even though they have a good signal caller calling those Hogs.

Now folks, I’ve flipped a coin five times in this one because I can see an upset happening in the Gators don’t start fast. But if all goes the way of the way the little smart cookie computer says, this should get the Gators a win they need.

So with the Gators getting to bowl season and the Hogs officially waiving goodbye to any chance of a post-season party, let’s list Arkansas on the loser’s list and move right along.

Jacksonville State at South Carolina – Oh Lord! Here are some of the last and last season cupcake specials to pad that win total and get to bowl eligibility. So when this pair of Gamecocks show up to battle, it won’t take long to see who’s got the biggest pecker in this pack of Poultry.

Last week Beamer Ball put a scare in the Aggies for a while, but they just didn’t have the muscle to sustain a 60-minute tussle with a better team, but this ain’t no better team.

So in true cupcake fashion, let’s just add Jacksonville State to the loser’s list and go on.

Missouri at Georgia – The Midwest Meeyowers take their Cat show to battle the blue ribbon Dogs down in Athens and though the Cats have stunned some SEC’ers so far this season, they aren’t likely to scratch their way to a win here.

This ain’t to say though, that if these Fido footballers are looking ahead to the SEC showdown with the Tide that an upset can’t happen. After all, these pooches have looked pretty sloppy at times and haven’t looked like the Dogs of old.

Still, we see the Dogs having their day and that means we’ll add Missouri to Larry’s losers list and go on to the next game.

Auburn at Vanderbilt – Auburn goes up to the Singing City and tries their hand with that old country tune, “Thank God for Vandy, Daddy needs to go to a bowl” and after ten games into the season, the weary War Eagles should have their second win in the conference and finally escape last for good.

Last week Auburn finally acted like a blind squirrel that found an acorn and they actually assembled some offense scoring 27 points against an SEC team. The Tiger defense should be able to keep Vandy away from that total so we see the Wiregrass Wonders getting win number five and getting closer to bowl balling.

So just like most SEC teams, Coach Freeze will be thanking God for Vandy and that’ll ring up those poor Song City Sailors and Larry’s loser list yet again.

Kentucky at Mississippi State – When Kentucky Cats come a calling at the Dog Pound in Starvegas, you know the fur’s gonna fly! Both teams have been surprising and struggling at times and there’s just no clear winner that jumps out at us, so we had to dig deep in the stats to see our way out of this one.

Offensively, the stats look about the same, but Kentucky has played a bit of a tougher schedule in our eyes and the same goes for the defensive stats, so close as to not be a decisive factor.

In a close one, you usually go with the home team and those cowbells can give a visitor fits, but one team is just a little better and just a little bit more battle tested, so we’re putting Miss State on the loser’s list and crossing our fingers.

LSU at Alabama – All season long, everyone saw these two as the big dogs in the West and today they finally decide who goes to Hotlanta to bully the Bulldogs. Now this is a full-grown Bengal from the Bayou against an exalted Elephant so it’s gonna be a battle.

Both teams have histories this season of running hot and cold and the winner of this game will be the one who gets and stays the hottest. If the Tide can play with pride and actually do well in the first half, then this game is over, but if they sputter as they have, they may find this isn’t the opponent that squanders a lead.

These games are won by a hot quarterback and the muscle in the tussle and we think that Bama has the edge to win this war. It’s not without some trepidation, but with meditation that we put LSU on Larry’s loser’s list.

Well, that’s it for this week folks, let’s hope the wave we’ve been riding isn’t hiding a wipeout over the next reef. This Saturday, you’re reading these picks while I’m sipping chianti while riding a train from Bari, to Civitavecchia, Italy as week three of this trip through Europe continues, and so far between me relaxing between picks and the help from the home office of Loser’s Lair, you can’t say I’m slacking with all these perfect weeks of picks.

So stack up your snacks and fine-tune the satellite dish or the antenna or make sure your cable bill is all paid up. If you can’t do that, then I hope you scrounged some tickets from a friend and yell your lungs out in person.

Larry has been writing for over 25 years and his sports articles have been published in most all the leading sites. He was Bleacher Report’s number-one college football writer and was the senior writer for Touchdown Alabama.

THIS ARTICLE IS INTENTIONALLY WRITTEN IN A COLLOQUIAL AND IRREVERENT STYLE FOR THIS SERIES OF ARTICLES. LARRY’S VIEWS AND SENSE OF HUMOR MAY OFFEND, BUT HE AIMS TO OFFEND EVERYONE EQUALLY. IF HE HASN’T INSULTED YOUR FAVORITE TEAM WITH LARRY’S LOSERS, JUST WAIT. FOLLOW LARRY ON TWITTER FOR INSIDE THOUGHTS AND FUNNY GAME-TIME COMMENTS AT   HTTPS://TWITTER.COM/LBSPORTSWRITER , AND FEEL FREE TO POST THIS ON YOUR OWN FACEBOOK PAGE TO SHARE WITH FRIENDS.

Larry’s Losers in the SEC-Week 9-2023

While I don’t mean to brag, two weeks of perfect picks? I guess being on vacation relaxes the noodles in my head and makes me see clearer. But the problem is, this past Saturday I was in Istanbul, Turkey, and the 1:30 games started here at 10:30 at night. So it was a long night night of football and slapping myself to stay awake.

But in the end, it was worth it as there were several exciting games to gander and by now we are really getting a feel of who has what and who lacks what. So can we go for the three peat and have another week of perfect picks? We sure think so. So read and see if you agree and then we’ll come back next week and see!

Vanderbilt at Ole Miss – The sad sack Sailors sail on down to Oxford this week and they’re hoping to catch a Rebel that’s been down on his luck in a lot of games this season, but Kiffin’s Commandos aren’t about to let these cellar dwellers deprive them of a win in their own backyard.

But something tells me that Guys from the Grove might take this one a little too lightly and the game could be closer than most think and it could be close for while.

But in the end, we expect the Sailors to sink one more time and that’ll put Vanderbilt on Larry’s losers list once again.

Tennessee at Kentucky – Coming from the hills down to the Blue Grass State, the tribe from Tennessee travel to Kentucky and this game could wind up showing who’s the king of the middle-of-the-pack players in the SEC East, and the Kentucky Cats are hoping with the previous week off, that they’re rested and ready to catch a team that just lost a heartbreaker.

Last week the Vols looked like a giant killer for a while, but then crumbled and cried all the way back to Hardknocksville. But the sting of that loss may be just the incentive they need to get back to their winning ways.

By the time this one’s over, the Vols will take one more of these Cat’s nine lives and that’ll make Larry’s loser Kentucky.

Mississippi State at Auburn – When the Bulldogs bus over to the Wiregrass to take on the Tigers, Auburn is going to lay out a big old WELCOME mat, cuz this might be their first chance to escape being tied for last place in the SEC standings.

Now Auburn may have some offensive woes from time to time, but these Dogs have it worse. Both have decent defenses, but the trick is you have to score more than the other team to win.

So for folks who say I never pick Auburn to win, I’ve correctly picked every one of their wins so far this season and I’m doing so again this week. That’ll make Larry’s loser Mississippi State

South Carolina at Texas A&M – The Carolina Cluckers flap and squawk their stuff into Texas with plans on finally finishing the Farmers who have been taking their eggs and eating their brothers for years.

But Fisher’s Farmers have been handling Fricasise for more than a fortnight and they have no intention of letting these Chickens rule the coop. So look for a battle royale as the feathers fly and the Farmers fuss.

The difference in this game is defense, and the Aggies brought one and the dead Peckers are still looking for one. That makes Larry’s loser, South Carolina.

Georgia at Florida – When the Dogs drop in on the Gators to effectively finish off the last of the SEC East contenders, We’re all left wondering if there’s anybody who can drop these dogs from their lofty perch atop the SEC’s Eastern standings?

And unfortunately for the Gators, the answer, at least for this season is no. So the Gators are left playing for style points learning from their mistakes and miscues while watching the Dogs effectively seal up the East with this win.

So that’ll make Florida the loser on this list and we won’t know ’till after the regular season if there’s someone who can bully these Bulldogs.

Well that’s it for this week. Yes, I’m playing about Europe right now, this week’s pick were done in Sorento, Italy, but don’t fret, we have the Loser’s Lair manned with house sitters and stat checkers, so we aren’t planning on a drop in performance in this party.

So till next week, keep tuning in, let us know your thoughts in the comments and keep on hoping that your favorite team won’t wind up on this list of losers.

Larry has been writing for over 25 years and his sports articles have been published in most all the leading sites. He was Bleacher Report’s number-one college football writer and was the senior writer for Touchdown Alabama.

THIS ARTICLE IS INTENTIONALLY WRITTEN IN A COLLOQUIAL AND IRREVERENT STYLE FOR THIS SERIES OF ARTICLES. LARRY’S VIEWS AND SENSE OF HUMOR MAY OFFEND, BUT HE AIMS TO OFFEND EVERYONE EQUALLY. IF HE HASN’T INSULTED YOUR FAVORITE TEAM WITH LARRY’S LOSERS, JUST WAIT. FOLLOW LARRY ON TWITTER FOR INSIDE THOUGHTS AND FUNNY GAME-TIME COMMENTS AT   HTTPS://TWITTER.COM/LBSPORTSWRITER , AND FEEL FREE TO POST THIS ON YOUR OWN FACEBOOK PAGE TO SHARE WITH FRIENDS.

Larry’s Losers in the SEC-Week 8-2023

Well, guess who was perfect with their picks last week? Well it wasn’t anybody on the boob tube, or anyone crazily tapping keyboards, no it was us, yet again, showing the rest of the sports world what perfection and being a legend in your own mind really looks like.

With the season winding down, many teams are taking a break before the final slugfests to come, but we do have some good games to gawk over. So let’s get started and see who’s closing in on clamping down a bowl bid and who will be sitting at home, picking their nose, and watching the good teams play.

Tennessee at Alabama – The Vols bus on down to T-Town for the third Saturday in October showdown and this could be a thriller. After so many years of being just another game, the Vols finally pummeled the Pachyderms last season, and they now have optimism they can do it again.

But the boys in Crimson have some payback waiting on these Orange-clad kookoos and if the Tide can uncharacteristically start fast, this game could be over quick, but if they start slow, it could be an exciting game until the fourth quarter.

But no matter how it happens, what will happen in the end, is that the boys in Crimson will be scraping out the Orange off their feet and you can put Tennessee on Larry’s loser list.

Mississippi State at Arkansas – The Hounds haul up to Arkansas to try and add some Pork to their post-game feast but the Hogs have sharpened their tusks and plan un poking the Pooches into submission this Saturday.

Both teams are scrambling to get to the magic number that allows them for some post-season partying, but only one will get one step closer after this campaign.

Unfortunately though, if it goes the way we see it, both teams will still have a way to go after this one because we’re seeing Mississippi State win and put the Hogs on the list after this one.

South Carolina at Missouri – The Col. Sanders Cluckers fly to Mizzou to take on the midwest Meyowers in their home catbox. Now the Cats have earned some blue ribbons this year for their fortuitous fate in football this year and they’re hoping to be best in show in this event too.

South Carolina has shown glimpses of greatness this season, but a glimpse won’t help you much in a 60-minute slugfest. Mizzou is gonna try and make sure they don’t land a lucky punch and take a win away from them in this one.

Defense is the difference in this one and Mizzou has one and the Cocks are a little limp in that area, so we’re going to see the Cats lock up a bowl berth, and that makes Larry’s loser South Carolina.

These Chickens are good, but they don’t have big enough peckers to slow down a Tiger!

Ole Miss at Auburn – When the Rebs come into Auburn thinking an easy win over a glorified war chicken, they might be in for a surprise. Auburn plays like a Tiger possessed in night games at home. I’ve been there too many times and seen them upset bigger ballers.

Kiffin’s Commandos may have their hands full in this one as the Tigers from Auburn are desperately searching for any win over any SEC team. So the Rebs better start off strong and get that crowd out of the game early and then not let up.

I can see this going the other way if Auburn gets going on offense, they’ve got the defense to be respectable and the the crowd could carry them, but we’re being reasonable and putting a trashy team tied for no conference wins where it belongs and make Auburn Larry’s loser.

Army at LSU – When Army rolls in Baton Rouge this weekend to take on the Tigers, it’s gonna be a long night for the boys in that battalion. You see, the refs won’t let ’em use their Tanks or Bradleys in this skirmish, so the boys will be exposed to the Cajun Kitty’s claws all night long and that won’t be a good matchup.

Yes, the Bengals should run blitzkrieg over this Army like they were French soldiers in World War II and it won’t be a good one to watch.

So let’s just land Army on Larry’s loser list and say Congrats to the Cats for win number 6. Who would have thought that LSU would be fighting for a decent bowl when the season started? Talk about a season not living up to its hype!

Well, that’s it for this week folks, We love bringing you these laughable losers and letting you know who’s watchable and who’s just weary.

We hope to see you back in this same place next week, till then, stock up your snacks, get those noisy kids out of the house, send your mother-in-law home, and get ready for good football!

Larry has been writing for over 25 years and his sports articles have been published in most all the leading sites. He was Bleacher Report’s number-one college football writer and was the senior writer for Touchdown Alabama.

THIS ARTICLE IS INTENTIONALLY WRITTEN IN A COLLOQUIAL AND IRREVERENT STYLE FOR THIS SERIES OF ARTICLES. LARRY’S VIEWS AND SENSE OF HUMOR MAY OFFEND, BUT HE AIMS TO OFFEND EVERYONE EQUALLY. IF HE HASN’T INSULTED YOUR FAVORITE TEAM WITH LARRY’S LOSERS, JUST WAIT. FOLLOW LARRY ON TWITTER FOR INSIDE THOUGHTS AND FUNNY GAME-TIME COMMENTS AT   HTTPS://TWITTER.COM/LBSPORTSWRITER , AND FEEL FREE TO POST THIS ON YOUR OWN FACEBOOK PAGE TO SHARE WITH FRIENDS.