Well sports fans, we’re nearing the finish line of the regular season and it’s just gone by too fast hasn’t it? But this is Rivalry Week and you can throw logic, statistics and reason out the door when two heated rivals lock horns.
Because this week of warfare starts of Thursday, we’re going to have to publish earlier that normal, so we hope we don’t shock you too bad with that.
And the Mrs. of Loser’s Lair has determined that we be on vacation during this wonderful weekend, so I’ll be watching on TV like most of you. Let’s just hope this floating eating, drinking and party boat has all the right channels. So without any further ado, let’s get to listing the last regular season games of 2022 in the SEC.
Mississippi State at Ole Miss – Thursday finds the Fidos from Starkvegas stomping down to Oxford to raise their legs and mark that part of Mississippi as their territory too. But these Rebels aren’t about to let a pack of pooches come down and pee on their parade, so expect a war in this heated rivalry game.
Last season the Dogs got spanked and Lane Kiffin wants to keep his top 25 status and dreams of big bowl games going, so he’s bringing extra newspapers to knock the noggins of these dog gone Dogs and prove to everyone in this state that there’s really only one top Dog and it ain’t the flea scratchers.
So while anything can happen in a game coached by these two, we still see a loser in our crystal ball and it’s got the slobbering face of a Bulldog. Larry’s loser – Mississippi State
Arkansas at Missouri – The first of the Friday football fights takes place at the Missouri Meeyowers home as the Arkansas Swine show up to cement Missouri’s lack of bowl participation in this post season party time.
Now the Hogs started off like gang busters and got a little busted up along the way to the end of the season, but Pittman’s Pigs have regrouped and plan on ending the regular season on a high note and skin these Cats for the last time in their season.
But this win gets the Pigs to the party playtime this bowl season and get them one more game to show the world that though they took some lumps, they can still give some bumps and that’ll make Larry’s Loser – Missouri
Florida at Florida State – Well folks, the championship of the Sunshine State is up for grabs as the Gators travel to Tallahassee to take on the Tribe in capitol country. Now these Seminoles have improved as things went along, so the Gators better not rest too much on their SEC laurels or they’ll get an arrow up the butt.
The Gators have two things against them in this one. A night game in front of packed stadium full of rabid warpaint wearing fans and the boys in Lost Wages saying their the underdog in this contest by more than a little.
But we hear the upset bugs buzzing around old Tally and we see the Gators pulling out a last minute win and you can say you heard it here first, and that’ll make Larry’s loser – Florida State
The upset bug bites this game
Auburn at Alabama – The Worn Eagles had a few too many crash landings this season and will miss the bowl season, but they know what a victory in this game would mean to the fans and they’re going to pull out all the stops to keep it close and try and scratch out a win at the end.
But Nick Saban, ticked off and at home ain’t the recipe for a Tiger triumph, but it will still be a doosey to watch as Auburn’s sporting a new coach with nothing to lose and everything to gain with a win in this one. He may be a Cadillac coach, but the other guys trumps him with a Mercedes dealership.
Look for the Tigers to try and run every trick play they have to try and put one over on the Pachyderms, but try as they will, the Elephants stomp them in to sod at Bryant Denny. Larry’s loser is Auburn. But maybe closer than most think.
Al, you would kick a guy when he’s just getting back on his feet would you?
Georgia Tech at Georgia – The Yellow Jackets buzz into Oxford and are hoping to sting the mighty Bulldogs at home, but the truth of the matter is that in this game, they’ll look less like mad Yellow Jackets and more like their other name, the Ramblin’ Wreck of Georgia Tech.
While other teams will be battling big brutes, this will almost be an off date for the Dogs to play the bench and rest the starters for the SEC Championship.
Yes, it’s a rivalry game alright, there’s just no rival to try and tame these Dogs, so Larry’s loser is Georgia Tech.
South Carolina at Clemson – Beamer’s Boys have no reason to not believe that this Pussycat can’t be skinned. They’ve showed a lot weakness at times and since the Chicken Coop Clan have already cemented their post season plans, they’re going to leave nothing on the clipboard untried to tame these Tigers.
Now folks, I’m hearing some buzzing and don’t know if it’s the upset bug or the cheap PA system at Clemson, but either way, this game is ripe for an upset. These boys pulled out the big peckers last week and ambushed a Vol team for the ages.
But if the Tigers control the ball, limit the turnovers and don’t get fooled on a few trick plays, then they should make Larry’s loser – South Carolina
Louisville at Kentucky – The Red Birds have plucked four times this season and these Kentucky Cats have been skinned once more than that, and while both have punched their ticket to the Bowl Bonanza with six wins this season, somebody’s going to make it seven!
So when the Cardinals, down to their last feathers, fly into the Cat house in Kentucky to call on these Pussycats, it won’t be a social visit they’re after, but a war and State bragging rights for another year.
In this one, my heart is saying go for the SEC muscle and hustle, but my head is saying Louisville is just a tick or two better, so despite my instincts, hunches and heart, Larry’s loser is Kentucky.
LSU at Texas A&M – Oh misery, thou has a mate and her name is Texas A&M. What a way to end a season with yet another ass kicking to think about all off season while others around you are all playing bowl games?
When the Begals bus up to Texas to maul the Aggies this weekend, the question isn’t will they win, but bad do they want to embarrass them? It’s gonna be a Lawdy Miss Claudy! game for the Aggies.
Well when the second and third teams are still scoring on these seed slingers, you’ll have your answer. I would have been happy to have coached the Aggies this year for half the money and the same results. Larry’s loser – Texas A&M
Tennessee at Vanderbilt – My my my… I remember just a little while back when Vandy owned the state and the Tennessee was in the middle of their 16 year rebuilding era.
Well this time, when the Vols fill up Vanderbilt’s home field, it’ll look more like a knee high Neyland, than the Commodores home turf. Payback is coming and this year there’s going to be such a sinking that the Sad Sack Sailors won’t even time to put on their life jackets before they go under.
But at least I was right in saying that the Commodores would bite some big boy in the butt this season, and the Vols should worry a little in this one. Just ask the Gators. But sometimes it’s good to go down with the ship and save yourself from drowning all over again later. Larry’s loser – Vanderbilt
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Alabama and the SEC 