Oh my goodness, was last week sensational week of warfare last week! The Vols vanquished 15 years of misery, Auburn may be losing, but they’re not losers. they keep on fighting, we picked the Arkansas upset of BYU and what a game that was, and finally Kentucky got back on their winning ways and upset the Bulldogs from Mississippi State.
If that wasn’t a week that was worth the price of admission, you don’t love or understand football at all. This week may not have the marquee match-ups that last one did, but there’s some games here that are gonna make fingernails shorter and hair get greyer.
So let’s get to listing the losers and telling you why you may want to cry when you see that name on the wrong side of the list. Here we go!
UT Martin at Tennessee – The Skyhawks flutter down to Hardknocksville to take on the Vols and pick up one of those big checks for a butt whipping. But these feathered footballers have a potent little offense, so they’ll get their pecks in before succumbing to the inevitable.
Now I don’t think the men in orange are going to have a letdown, but if you were a betting man, don’t take the points and Tennessee as they’ll still be licking wounds in this one.
But these Tennesseans aren’t going to lose this one and we’ll just write this cupcake game up and list Larry’s loser as UT Martin.
Ole Miss at LSU – The undefeated Rebels roll into Baton Rouge’s Bayou Bengal backyard, and there’s gonna be a brawl that’ll last from first whistle to last.
The boys from Lost Wages, Nevada and all the talking heads in the media think it’s almost a coin toss in this one, with the Cajun Kitties having just the slightest of advantage.
If a team gets hot in this one, they could win it all and the team with the hottest streak is the Rebels, so despite the home field advantage, we’re going with our gut and picking the Tigers to be tamed and become Larry’s loser.
Vanderbilt at Missouri – Well folks, here’s the fight for the least in the East, and when the Song City Sailors sail up to Missouri to take on those Midwest Meeyowers it’ll be a battle for the bottom for sure.
Now both these teams have shown flashes of football skill, and befuddled the folks who thought they were bad to the core. Since they are sort of kindred brothers of badness this season, this might be a good game to watch.
But in the end, these Swabbies go down with the ship one more time as these Kitties claw through them one by one ’till they get to the captain, making Larry’s loser Vandy.
Mississippi State at Alabama – After a string of tough games the Tide may be looking to take a break, but here comes Mike’s Mutts from Mississippi knocking on the door and this Dog’s bite may be much worse than his bark when you’re this tired.
Now this could be a game if there are too many mistakes or injuries in the Pachyderm’s pen here in “Tusk”aloosa. The Dogs have a quarterback that can sling that thing and the running backs can make even the best defender dodge the wrong way sometimes, so this one could be close, an upset, or a Tide blowout depending on so many things.
But in the end, you have to pick somebody and we’ve had the team picked for a while and the one we feel is on the wrong end of the list is Mississippi State.
Texas A&M at South Carolina – The tribe of Texans travel over to the Carolinas to try and clobber the Colonel Sanders Squad in their own Chicken coop. And most feel this is what will happen including us.
But both these teams have had wild swings of good to bad and back, and while we’re confident that the Aggies are the better team with a better bench and a wiser old coach, this is the SEC, so Texas better not count these Chicken’s eggs before they hatch.
But still, the cream rises to the top in most cases and unless these Texans trip themselves, we think you can count on Larry’s loser being South Carolina.
Well folks, there’s our best bets for bragging rights this week. Do you think we hit all these nails on the head?
The good lord willing and the creek don’t rise, we’ll see you back here next week where we’ll start all over and go through the SEC listing the losers we all love to laugh at. Hope to see you then.
LARRY BURTON HAS BEEN PUBLISHED IN ALMOST EVERY MEDIA OUTLET FOR COLLEGE SPORTS. HE WRITES THIS ARTICLE IN A COLLOQUIAL AND IRREVERENT STYLE FOR THIS SERIES OF ARTICLES. LARRY’S VIEWS AND SENSE OF HUMOR MAY OFFEND, BUT HE AIMS TO OFFEND EVERYONE EQUALLY. IF HE HASN’T INSULTED YOUR FAVORITE TEAM WITH LARRY’S LOSERS, JUST WAIT. FOLLOW LARRY ON TWITTER FOR INSIDE THOUGHTS AND FUNNY GAME-TIME COMMENTS AT HTTPS://TWITTER.COM/LBSPORTSWRITER
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Alabama and the SEC 